Ah, the heart still beats. The first instalment of “The World Laid Out For Him”, the next chapter in The Beating of Our Hearts, is now available on Wattpad:
Of sex and friendship
Can sex and friendship co-exist? I think so.
Belief in different categories of liking someone was a very “high school” experience for me. No disrespect to you if you keep your feelings compartmentalised this way. Everyone’s different. It’s more that hard-line distinctions started making me anxious as the years passed, and I was forced to change my view.
Words like “lovers”, “friends”, “friends with benefits”, “fuck buddies”—they’re labels that attempt to capture a connection between two people. Helpful for economy of thought and communication, but still only an approximation.
What if you’re more than friends, but less than lovers, with the potential for sex while choosing not to exercise it? What about FBs and FWBs who catch feelings, but for whatever reason don’t wish to carry on up the relationship escalator?
Sometimes such connections that fall between the cracks can lead to difficulty, awkwardness, uncertainty, insecurity—sometimes even an abandonment of that connection altogether.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a label for in-between relationships like this; a way to calm the confusion, honour the potential that doesn’t demand to be realised, and connect deeper over a shared appreciation for the state of things.
I suppose “friendship” is a broad category. Maybe true friendships already contain provisions for this, should sexual interest ever enter the picture. Again, it’s still only an approximation.