Sometimes you need to say no

I’m really struggling with email at the moment. I have a handful of personal email pals I’ve been keeping in touch with reasonably well over the last couple of months, but also a metric fuckton of Bloglovin’ notifications, social media updates and newsletters.

I know I’m not alone here. I’m sure everyone with an inbox has this problem to some extent. And I think about this a lot when writing Dot Dot Dot every month.

Am I worthy of being in a subscriber’s inbox? I don’t want to just do the freebie monkey dance, and personally, I’d feel a bit insulted if an author thought that’s all I wanted when I subscribe to their newsletter. I mean, free stuff is nice, but before that, I look for stuff I value. Interesting things. Things I can learn from and improve my life with. Things I can take on board and try to be a better person with. I hope my readers enjoy that sort of stuff too.

And then there’s the frequency. Is one email a month still too much to be sending people? I subscribe to a very talented calligrapher’s monthly newsletter and I look forward to her updates. But I’ve also subscribed to software-as-a-service platforms and use their once-in-a-blue-moon updates as a cue to unsubscribe, even though I find their service interesting.

Comic: 10 years ago, letters were meh and emails were exciting. Now, emails are meh and letters are exciting.

As much as I can, I try to keep my newsletters personal — without getting TMI, of course. If that’s even possible in a newsletter about smut, sex and love? But I’m motivated to try because the majority of my inbox (and twitter feed) seems to be stuffed with overexcited marketing and obviously automated updates 😒

The shining stars in my dark, dark gmail are the personal messages from people. It’s nice to have a conversation, you know? As a writer, I spend a lot of time in my own head, so it’s nice to get perspective from other people.

If you like what you see in my newsletter, hit reply and write to me. We can chat a bit 💌

But if you ever find them too much for you, I won’t take it personally if you unsubscribe.

Sometimes you just gotta say no. Boundaries are healthy. They’re good for everyone. For instance, Circlet Press said no to my story submission. The editor said it wasn’t “what [she] was looking for”, but gave me some lovely feedback that gets me thinking this piece is in a share-worthy state.

Keep an eye out — I’ll publish it as a free read on this blog closer to Halloween.


Img via condesign (CC0)



4 thoughts on “Sometimes you need to say no

  1. You made me smile! That is the first all day since my Epic fail with Literotica. It is good that you reach out to your subscribers. It humanizes you. Not just words on a screen. I like your interactions. Little bit behind on my TBR but Induction of Satine is like..honestly number 4. Thanks for being human instead of robotic


      1. You probably won’t believe me but right now I have 10 books at the moment on my TBR I have three Ereaders so I can read multiple books Two versions of Kindle and one called Bizarrre Reader I believe. People wonder how do you keep your place? OR keep up? It’s simple. My mind is still a sponge.I am doing ARCs and just enjoying a good book or two. I want to break out. I want to see my own work in print. It’s a drea. LOL *sigh*

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s